How to train your dragon …or in some cases your mother

Helpful hints for mom …

My daughter sent me this book, so I could distinguish between what it means to be a “good granny” as opposed to being a “bad granny” … and she was kind enough to make it a picture book …

What this book has done in the way of self-improvement was to give me more ideas on how to walk on the wild side of being a granny … so thank you … daughter!  

Man I am always too early or too late in life

40 year ago I was given a “million dollar moment” or at least a million plus hit /viral video and did not know it!

Well to be fair…  There was no YouTube 40 years ago … 

but I see a little boy on YouTube is a star for something he did when my youngest daughter did this all the time as child!!! It is not fair that kid’s mother is marketing her kid’s talent and his hanging tough to a lie….. When my own daughter’s talent in this area went unnoticed to the public as a child….

Let me explain….

My youngest daughter always liked to draw… …Naturally I had purchased  her crayons, markers, paints and the socially acceptable place to draw and express her talent .. Paper and coloring books …

Yet magically I would find on my walls “primitive art works”… … Stick people with a signature underneath each drawing with a backward “D” signature on the bottom … the funny thing was my youngest daughter signed her name the exact same way at the time and although I am not an art critic I saw similar style to the art work on my walls and the art work being created,  by this daughter on paper …

So I took this daughter and we stood before the primitive art piece drawn on my wall and I asked her “did you do this”... Her reply with a straight face “No I didn’t” …

 my next question, well it looks like the stuff you draw on paper and it is signed with your name … So I will ask you again... did you do this… without skipping a beat or looking in the least bit guilty again she said,  “No I did not do it”…

 now I am a bit annoyed.. Not that she drew on the wall but for the fact with a straight face this kid is lying to me… and I wanted to teach her a lesson in personal responsibility … if you make a mistake “own it” so we can move on …

So now I am thinking how can I make this kid fess up … so I point out to this daughter look the “D” in your name (on the drawing on the wall)  is backwards just like you sign all you other drawings .. 

So one last time … did you do this … there was a bit of a pause as if this kid was calculating in her mind … Hmmm that is compelling evidence how am I going to overcome the obvious … her answer was “my sister did it”…

So now I am thinking OMG….. This kid will not just fess up to her “crime” and now she trying to convince me she was framed by her sister … now I have a mental picture … this kid is destined to be a politician …

So my next question to her was … so you are saying your sister, “set you up to get into trouble me with?” … her answer was “yes I did not do it”… 

  

Fast forward 40 years and this daughter will still not admit to me she “drew on the walls” and she holds firm to the “fact” that anytime she got into trouble as a kid it was because her sister set her up…  

I recently viewed a little boy who also draws on walls / mirrors and refuses to fess up that he did it… I think in another life time that kid and my daughter must have been friends!

Don’t play with your food and sit up straight

I was a tough mother, no getting around it … I was strict... How strict … well my brother would threatened his children if they did not behave, they would have to spend the summer with Aunt Mary, strict. And his children would normally change their behavior, with the threat of boot camp at Aunt Mary’s.

One of the many things I was “tough” about was table manners … sit up straight , elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed, use your fork not your fingers, don’t slurp your soup  … napkins on your lap … things which in my mind separates us from the animals in the woods!  To the mind of a child it is dinner with Satan … 

I do not like “playing with your food either”… do not overload your plate, then you cannot finish the food and then you sit there and “play with your food”… or with a kid they hate veggies so they play with their veggies or accidentally drop them on the floor or feed them to the dog.

Or in the case of my eldest daughter when it came to eating her veggies (especially peas) she would become a Thespian right at the dinner table … 

with a dramatic grabbing of her throat and then she would proceed to gag or perhaps dry heave at the mere taste of one pea on her palate (she only had to eat 3 peas) to show me she would at least try them …  I would sit and watch this child of mine do her dramatic pea routine at the dinner table and think this kid would make a really good actress … her ability to method act is intense …

if anyone were to walk into the room and see her they would swear she was being abused and forced to eat something poisonous and vile .. I was impressed … and sure enough she did go on to act in plays during her  high school years and she was a really good actress … 

I wonder was it the ”pea drama” that sparked this talent in her ???     

As for my younger daughter, she liked veggies and hated pizza … wow this kid was like a space alien to me... Preferring healthy food to junk food, which took away my  ability to bribe her with sugar. What are you going to say “if you’re good I will give you a carrot?”... 

It seemed so unnatural to me! 

Whereas with my eldest daughter give her a bag of French fires and I owed her …      

This is why I was so shocked when I saw my youngest daughter craved up a fruit .. knowing she likes veggies and fruit so much .. look what she did to this poor pumpkin...