My marriage vow was
scared not because of any “fear of God” or man … but because I made a
commitment a vow… I did not take that lightly
Hence while married I
never had an affair or “hooked up with anyone”… I found that then and now to be lacking in personal character … even in a “bad marriage” which,
I had I remained true to my wedding vows … not because my ex-husband was worth
it (sorry if that sounds cruel) just making a point here … I am “worth it” as
in my own personal integrity … and as example to my children … you make a
commitment you keep it … and if that commitment needs to be broken you do so in
a manner that is “official” and then you walk away …
It is a matter of
personal worth and honor as to how you feel about yourself and your ability to “be
an adult”… as in if I said something I am going to do it … and if the job gets
to be too hard or I have been hurt on job site I will legally leave the job
(marriage) …
I even insisted in my
separation agreement (which would be laughed out of Court in today’s day and
age)… if either party had a paramour who slept over when the children were
present that party would lose visitation rights … that is how serious I took
and take having a “moral compass” in life … this is not to say I am “uptight sexually”
I am not … I have had my share of affairs and flings … but “play time” stops at
the Altar or when you sign a marriage contract … or what is the point? When I
was first married the concept of having an “open marriage” was discussed … I
was horrified at this suggestion … so totally out of my realm of reality and
intent as to what marriage is or was … still is a concept I do not agree with …
I get the fact in all
marriages “what works for the couple”, not my business not my concern … I can
only speak for myself and that is I value commitment, I value personal integrity …
I also get how lonely it can be in bad
relationship so I judge no one … I just hope for all that you value yourselves
… for you have personal worth and do not sell yourselves short in any manner
…
